


ascension

by sigma (riecior)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - XCOM, Bae Jinyoung (minor), Ha Sungwoon (minor), Hwang Minhyun (minor) - Freeform, Im Nayoung (minor), Jung Eunwoo (minor), Kim Minkyung (minor), Lee Daehwi (minor), M/M, Ong Seongwoo (minor), Park Woojin (mentioned) - Freeform, Yoon Jisung (minor) - Freeform, heads up people will die in this fic, tags will be added as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-07 22:17:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12241698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riecior/pseuds/sigma
Summary: "Isn't it kind of sweet how I'm carrying a piece of you with me all the time?""That's creepy."Alternatively—Daniel doesn't understand emotions and Jihoon can't let go.(Engineer!Jihoon/Soldier!Daniel AU)





	1. brave and glorious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mostly self-edited and written by someone who actually despises writing a.k.a me. please forgive any mistakes i am but a sleep-deprived gay.
> 
> dedicated to nik who held my hand throughout writing this fic and has always been a great friend <3 love you
> 
> set in the universe of the game XCOM and following the events of the second game's dlc "war of the chosen". basically an alien invasion au.

“Ow!”

The clang of metal hitting metal pierces the otherwise silent room—a hollow, cold sound. Jihoon jerks his hand back in shock as the blue-white electricity bites him. He furrows his brow, rubbing at the sore spot, bending down to pick up the fallen wrench. Perhaps he overloaded the capacitor—or was it the fault of a certain someone’s irresponsible operation.

As if to punctuate his thoughts, a loud snore erupts from the direction of his bed. Jihoon grimaces as he looks over, holding in the urge to fling the metal tool at the bed dweller.

“Daniel,” he whispers harshly. “Keep it down.”

The man doesn’t respond, instead flinging the blanket off his body and mumbling some nonsense about it being too hot and— oh no, he better not be stinking up Jihoon’s bed.

Jihoon gives Daniel a look of exasperation. How comfortable had he gotten in Jihoon’s presence within the past few months to be acting this casually? Hell, he was only wearing a tank top and cargo pants while jihoon himself still had his Engineer’s uniform on—not to mention the fact that they were in Jihoon’s room...does Daniel have a habit of undressing in other people’s rooms?

Blush on his face aside, Jihoon turns back to his desk. On it laid a mechanical hand—fingers, palm, up till mid-forearm. It was a dirty silver in colour, wires of red and blue running in between the strings of metal fibre forming the muscles. Fitted in it were receptors for psi energy, glowing purple whenever powered. It doubled as a gauntlet for the user, though much more responsive than if it had simply been a standalone weapon. It was a work of art, even if Jihoon thought so himself— his first proper creation.

The project overall had been a huge plus, but if he had to complain about one thing, it was the recipient of this masterpiece of his. Why did it have to go to someone who would break it every other mission? Daniel was so reckless—Jihoon nearly fainted the first time he saw his baby sparking electricity with wires poking out everywhere. It wasn’t his fault the big dumbass shot off his actual arm to save a friend.

XCOM soldiers were so aggravating. A bunch of meatheads blinded with the idea of being ‘heroes’ for the sake of humanity. They’d throw their lives away for empty promises, leaving this world believing their suicide mission was in any way necessary. Human lives didn’t mean much to the Commander apparently. To him, all soldiers were but dispensable resources.

Jihoon turns back to look at Daniel’s sleeping figure, his fingers tracing over the palm of the metal hand idly. He supposes Daniel himself wasn’t that bad a guy. They may not see eye-to-eye on matters, but he was a pretty nice dude overall. Jihoon didn’t mind small talk with him—though it was usually mostly on Daniel’s end. Sometimes he does get a bit carried away with the whole hero mantra, but other than that Jihoon didn’t mind his company.

“Mm…”

Spoke too soon.

“What time is it…?” Daniel forces out with a yawn (to the disgust of Jihoon). He stretches his obnoxiously long limbs out, almost knocking over Jihoon’s lamp in the process. “Oops.”

“Two in the morning,” Jihoon replies curtly, wincing as he watches the light wobble for a few moments before settling back down. “Go back to sleep.”

“Nah...how’s it going?” Daniel ignores the request, running his hand through his bedhead.

“I’m almost done fixing all the parts you broke,” Jihoon huffs, turning back to his work. It had been a mess when Daniel had returned back from the mission—though Jihoon appreciates the fact that he never really puts the core at risk. That part was beyond precious. “I can’t believe you used it to prop up debris...what did you think would happen?”

“I did it to save a life.”

“How very heroic of you.”

Daniel frowns, Jihoon’s words striking a nerve. He had always been unnecessarily harsh and unsympathetic towards their cause. “You don’t have to put it that way.”

Jihoon sighs, wearily turning to look at Daniel. “You know what I meant. I’m tired.” It was a pitiful excuse, but the way Daniel’s expression softens comes as a relief. What a soft-hearted idiot. “You must be tired too. Go back to sleep and stop distracting me.”

Daniel shakes his head. “I’m fine. Seongwoo and Eunwoo did most of the work today. Man, those guys joke around alot but when it comes down to it? They beat even me at working hard. You wouldn’t think so, but Nayoung really whipped the diligence into them that one time. Say—”

And there Jihoon goes zoning out again. Daniel’s stories about his squad and their misadventures never could keep hold of his attention. They weren’t bad stories—Daniel was just horrible at telling them.

But it wasn’t always like this.

* * *

 

_“—Park Jihoon, report to engineering—.” The voice buzzes over the intercom. Jihoon nearly falls out of his bed at the sudden announcement—and he basically does with the way he tumbles onto the ground, blanket and all._

_He had only recently joined the crew of the Avenger, mobile base of operations for the world-renowned XCOM. They had been the flagship for humanity’s resistance, the beacon of hope for all terrorized by ADVENT._

_Jihoon grew up in the age of war, running from these aliens ever since he was a child. Eastern Asia had taken the brunt of violence from the attacks, their only goal at that time seemingly to be to wipe humanity out, taking no prisoners, leaving nothing behind in a trial of death and destruction. Jihoon’s parents fought and struggled to keep him alive, paying off a soldier stationed in a supply site to watch over him so they could go back for his sister._

_Little to say, they didn’t come back._

_The soldier contemplated his position, hovering over the choice of kicking him out, but Jihoon proved his worth. He had picked up on various skills—both medical and mechanical—along the way. Tricks and tips taught to him by many fallen friends, their legacy only living on through this young boy._

_Jihoon soon became a favourite of the soldiers there, acting as a helper wherever he could in exchange for shelter and food. Some took him under their wing, teaching him even more about weapons, armour, how to survive, how to shoot. Jihoon learned quickly, his enthusiasm was touching to many. Some, however, worried that teaching a child violence would only lead him down a dark path—especially one with his circumstances. They were afraid he would become consumed with thoughts of avenging his family—but the bright child assured them he wasn’t even thinking about it._

_He was a brilliant liar._

_A few more years pass and Jihoon turns eighteen—not that age mattered much in this broken society. The only ones who cared about constructs like those were the government, the big eye in the sky—but that was exactly where Jihoon wanted to go. He had seen the **brave** and **glorious** members of XCOM before when they landed to resupply. They always seemed haughty, prideful—like they knew they were more important than those stuck down here—and they were. They were the protectors of humanity, the front line of the resistance. They were the ones taking down all those big, powerful aliens out there—or so Jihoon heard. The soldiers on the ground always looked up to those guys, and to a certain degree, so did Jihoon. Even if he didn’t like them much, they were the only ones capable of fighting back (though their chances of success were up for debate). _

_XCOM was where Jihoon wanted to be, within the calvary._

_And he knew how to get what he wanted._

_Eighteen was the age they opened up to recruits, always looking for fresh faces (not that that meant they were losing people by the week, not at all). Jihoon was prime rookie material— talented, brave, hardworking—he had little to no trouble getting himself a place on the Avenger (how aptly named)._

_He was assigned to the Engineering sector and introduced to the volatile, but accomplished head Engineer, Sungwoon. Jihoon was to be training under this man, though he paid no mind to the warnings he was given. He already knew the procedure by heart. He was going to prove his worth here, rise in ranks, perhaps even take on more jobs—one can dream._

_The next few months proceeded swimmingly. Jihoon quickly took over the top rookie spot (to the jealousy of fellow Engineer, Woojin). Sungwoon begrudgingly complimented him many times—which to say was more than twice. Jihoon was seeing a promotion in his future, and being called to the workshop could only mean one thing._

_Or, apparently, two._

_“Jihoon, I need you to build this guy a new arm,” Sungwoon deadpans, pen jabbing into the side of said guy who lets out a gasp. “It’ll be your first official project. don’t let me down.”_

_“But...wait I—”Jihoon starts, but shuts his mouth upon seeing the look Sungwoon shot at him. “Y-Yes sir,” he corrects himself, blinking nervously as he turns to face the stranger. “Nice to meet you.”_

_“Nice to meet you too! I’m Kang Daniel, Templar from Squad B. I haven’t seen you before, are you new here?” The man introduces himself with an energetic tone, his big frame (sans arm) shaking with excitement._

_Jihoon blinks in disbelief, overwhelmed by the sudden burst of enthusiasm and friendliness. You didn’t get many positive ones up here, and even so, they usually were on the research team—those weirdos. “O-Oh erm...yeah. I’m a rookie. I joined a few months ago.”_

_“That explains why I haven’t seen you around! Don’t visit this sector often—usually just hang around the training centre, you know?”_

_“Uh huh…”_

_Jihoon frowns as he listens to Daniel ramble on, his eyes eventually trailing to his missing limb. It was bandaged up, but it was obvious that it had been a bad wound—it wasn’t surgically removed, that’s for sure. Jihoon grimaces imagining what may have happened, but Daniel catches him staring._

_“Don’t worry about that. It didn’t hurt too bad. It was well-lost.”_

_“...What do you mean?”_

_“I sacrificed it to save a friend.”_

_Jihoon accidentally lets a ‘tch’ loose, inciting Daniel to raise his eyebrows questioningly._

_“Ah...sorry, didn’t mean to let that come out…”_

_“It’s...fine I guess,” Daniel hums, tone now more serious. There’s a moment of silence between them, but he speaks up after awhile. “So, you’re going to be building me a new arm?”_

* * *

 

“—and then Eunwoo laughs! Just...laughs! Right there! Like I know Seongwoo is funny and all but come on! She alerted a whole pack of Lost to our location. Good thing we took them out in time—but man, Nayoung was ready to serve her ass on a platter afterwards.”

“Huh?”

Jihoon snaps back to reality, tuning in just in time to hear the conclusion of Daniel’s story. Wow, he was getting good at this.

Daniel gives him a knowing stare, raising his eyebrows but choosing to not say anything. Instead, he gets off the bed and pulls a spare chair over towards the desk, taking a seat and eyeing the machine. It was glowing softly now, the purple light emanating from the core getting brighter the closer he got. It was the power source for his mechanical limb—also serving as an excellent night light (he’d be dead if Jihoon found out).

“You’re good at this,” Daniel muses, watching Jihoon’s fingers nimbly work around the wires.

“Of course I am,” Jihoon scoffs, grabbing hold of Daniel’s arm to position the socket with the now-repaired limb. He lines it up and carefully screws it back on, making sure everything was connecting right with a trained eye. If anything malfunctioned, it would be all on him.

Daniel chuckles. “Glad I have someone reliable to patch me up...part of me up, I guess.”

“Doesn’t mean you can keep breaking it—I can’t keep repairing it for you,” Jihoon presses a button hidden in a compartment once satisfied with the positioning, wiring Daniel’s nerves to the machine. It sends a small jolt of pain down his body, but he’s used to the sensation.

A moment of silence passes, Daniel's eyes burning holes into Jihoon. What was he staring at?

“...Why can’t you?”

Daniel’s voice softens, eyes now trailing over Jihoon’s features. How pretty they were—fairy-like, even. Has he always had such long eyelashes?

“Of course I can’t—” Jihoon is cut off as Daniel leans in closer. His breath hitches, tensing up at the proximity. “What are you—”

He’s frozen as he watches Daniel kiss him—gentle, soft lips pressing against his. It was hesitant, uncertain—like he was just testing the waters. Jihoon feels like he should be closing his eyes, but doesn’t. Instead, he pulls back, face stiff and unreadable. Daniel unconsciously trails after him, but is taken aback when he’s greeted by the sight of Jihoon’s clenched fists.

“Get out,” Jihoon bites down on his lower lip, standing up in an attempt to move away from the other.

Daniel’s face falls at the rejection, his lips trembling in an attempt to find the right words to say. “I-I’m sorry...I didn’t know—”

“Get. Out.”

The sound of metal scraping against metal punctuates his sentence as Daniel hastily stands up, almost toppling the chair over in his panic. He’s at the door when he turns back around, wanting to explain his actions to Jihoon, but the fear he sees in his eyes shuts him up.

The door softly clicks shut behind him, leaving behind only unease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a huge nerd who sees a game and decides to write a bad rendition of it's universe. if somehow you know about the universe of XCOM, i'm so sorry for butchering some details but i swear its for the sake of the fic.
> 
> this is actually my first time writing a fic so i hope everything's fine! i've been wanting to for ages but i am the worst person ever when it comes to actually putting my ideas into writing.
> 
> anyways i already have all the chapters written so i'll be posting them weekly! please look forward to them (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑
> 
> p.s. my twitter is **@sailorjihoons** if you want to come chat and stuff!


	2. bad decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again i nerded out too hard in this chapter oh no...
> 
> hope all this exposition stuff isn't too much, i tried to simplify it as much as i could T_T i know it's probably boring for some people but...
> 
> ahem...anyways please enjoy!

Daniel lets out an audible groan, shoulders slumped. It was only the next day and he was already regretting his entire existence. What possessed him to kiss Jihoon out of nowhere? What the hell was he thinking? He didn’t even like Jihoon in that way...did he? As far as he knew, he only felt friendship and gratitude towards him, nothing even remotely romantic...probably.

He remembers waking up to the all too familiar sound of Jihoon’s tinkering, lights dimmed aside from the blindingly cold beacon sat just above his desk. He looked so focused, lips pouted and brows furrowed, a trait which Daniel always found cute (in the friendly way, of course). He makes his consciousness known and starts telling Jihoon about his day, fondly recalling anecdotes of his squad’s experiences. He doesn’t know why he does this, spilling his heart out to Jihoon haphazardly, but something about his presence puts Daniel at ease. Perhaps the touch of Jihoon’s gentle, meticulous fingers reconnecting his arm set something off in his mind, waking thoughts such as “am I the only one he’s this delicate with?” and “he looks even cuter from close up”.

The more he thinks about it, the more confused he gets. Sure, that one time they spent in the infirmary probably didn’t mean anything, but what if it did? Maybe Daniel had another reason other than ‘wow fluffy’ to ruffle Jihoon’s hair so often. Maybe he loved the passion Jihoon put into his work not just because he looked adorable when focused. Maybe that urge to pin him against the wall and kiss him until his face was flushed and lips were swollen wasn’t so platonic after all.

He’s always been a bit slow when it came to romance. He had spent most of his life isolated from society—the Templars who raised him did well in training him for combat, but he was clueless when it came down to relationships. He knew how to teleport but not how to ask someone before kissing them..no wonder Seongwoo calls him a dweeb.  
  
But god, did Jihoon look kissable that night.  
  
“I’m so dumb—”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
Speak of the devil. Daniel turns around to pout at the voice—recognizing it as Seongwoo's almost immediately.  
  
"You don't even know what I'm talking about," Daniel whines, bumping shoulders with his best friend. He had expected to run into him on the way to the Bridge—their squad had been called in for a mission briefing.  
  
"I don't need to to know you're an idiot. A cute one," Seongwoo adds on the compliment to soften his words, a toothy grin on his face as he slings an arm around Daniel. He thinks for a moment, his habit of blinking too much showing itself. "Wanna talk about it?"  
  
Daniel sighs. "Nah...just bad decisions, you know."  
  
Seongwoo nods understandingly, letting out a hum. "Tell me about bad decisions. I tried borrowing Nayoung's gloves earlier without asking, and god..." he exaggerates a shiver. "Don't mess with that girl's stuff."  
  
Daniel snorts, easily imagining her berating Seongwoo with a steel grip around his arm—everyone knew how prone he was to fleeing confrontation.  
  
They were a close bunch, the four of them. Daniel served as their Templar, acting as their melee specialist and front-liner as well as ‘charging recklessly into battle’, as Nayoung puts it. It was really just his job, though, his primary weapon being gauntlets that harnessed his innate psi energy to power blades that cut through even the hardest metal.  
  
Seongwoo was their Specialist, battle medic, as well as hacker for when missions called for one. He wasn't that skilled with larger firearms, but boy, his aim on a pistol was top notch. Contrasting his carefree appearance, he has proven himself adept at spotting flanks, using all sorts of tricky traps and maneuvers to catch the enemy off-guard. He absolutely loved hacking into enemy units to use them against ADVENT (Daniel finds it creepy how much he gets into it sometimes).  
  
Nayoung was their leader, strategist, as well as Sharpshooter, always keeping an eye on the battlefield, scoping out both ally and enemy movements. Her eagle-eye view of the battlefield meant she could relay information and commands to the others as well providing cover fire when they had to take risky paths. Her composed attitude towards battles helped keep everyone’s heads on right, solidifying her position as leader after proving herself the only one capable of controlling three hot-headed soldiers.  
  
And of course, last but not least, their Grenadier—Eunwoo. As her position implies, she’s a volatile one—a glass cannon, some might call her kind. She held little to no regard for stealth and strategy, instead opting for the ‘blow everything up’ route. Nayoung has a real headache with her, but Eunwoo proves her worth often. Her mechanical skills were excellent, aim exceptional for someone who worked with curved arcs of heavy explosives. She may seem like an airhead at times, but the others knew from seeing her notebook that she spent countless nights calculating every trajectory possible.  
  
"Hey it's me, Boo Boo the Fool," Daniel announces as the doors to the bridge slide open, revealing the holographic globe that was projected from the table in the centre of the room. It had several red markers on it, scattered across various continents, but Daniel would sooner be be able to understand his feelings than figure out what they meant.  
  
"That's so outdated—" Seongwoo pushes Daniel away from him in disgust. “Consider yourself lucky I’m even still calling you my friend,” he moves ahead to join the other two members with their Commander. They lift their heads in unison at the ruckus, Eunwoo waving excitedly at the newcomers.  
  
"We all know you’re a fool, Daniel," Nayoung deadpans, ignoring the laughter the other girl tried to stifle. "Chin up. It's just a quick resupply mission."  
  
"That's not what I'm worried about," Daniel shrugs, but gives cheering up an attempt anyways. His squad members deserved only the world, and Daniel could put aside his own problems for the time being. "Let's go."

* * *

"Hey, Daniel...you doing okay?" Jisung's voice calls out through his alcohol-induced daze. Daniel snaps his head up, looking straight at Jisung questioningly. What time was it even—how long has he been here? He grimaces as the dizziness from the sudden motion catches up to him.

  
He tries to recall what happened before he ended up in the recreational area. They had returned from the supply mission safely—he remembers Nayoung running off after Seongwoo who had nicked some jerky from the boxes—but what else? Oh— there was Eunwoo who offered her company too, but Daniel declined with the excuse he wanted to head to the training room to work on his gains (earning a giggle). It was all a blur after that, but at some point he was sure he had dragged Jisung halfway across the ship to drink with him—and Jisung, being the nice guy he was, agreed.

So...here they were.  
  
"My head's all messed up," Daniel mumbles, rubbing his cheeks. “Eyes hurt.”

“Stop rubbing them so much then,” Jisung scolds, gently slapping Daniel’s hand away from his face.

Daniel lifts the cold glass to his lips before realising he had run out of whiskey. He whines and contemplates crying right there and then, but soon remembers the consequences of Eunwoo and Seongwoo potentially catching him sobbing into his drink. "I can't believe I kissed him, dude...I bet he hates me now.”  
  
"He wouldn't hate you," Jisung offers, brows furrowing. "You apologised, right? Jihoon's a good kid."  
  
"You didn't see the look on his face, man. Never seen him so upset before."  
  
"To be fair, have you seen him upset much at all?"  
  
"...No,"  
  
Daniel sticks out his lower lip, fully aware of how childish his whining must look. Jisung had a point—Daniel really didn’t know much about Jihoon. He had always been the one running his mouth, Jihoon listening in with what little interest he had. He remembers asking around after their first meeting, wanting to know what Jihoon was like, if was he secretly half-fairy, if he would agree to install rocket launchers in his arm—the usual questions. Turns out he was a pretty damn secretive guy, most people only knowing him by name if not by his services. He was elusive, always hiding away in the engineering sector working on god knows what. Maybe the fact that Jihoon seemed to open up to him at times during their repair sessions felt more special because of this. Perhaps Daniel was special?

...Nah, that can’t be it.  
  
"M-Maybe I'm just desperate...I'm not even sure if I like him that way. It's been awhile and all..."  a light blush creeps onto his cheeks—though probably hidden by the dim lighting.  
  
Jisung stares at Daniel, seemingly contemplative. He had always been a supportive friend, both wise and caring. It seemed like just yesterday he helped him get over his crush on Sungwoon. Turns out his jealousy stemmed from some insecurity that he totally didn't repress back into the dark crevices of his mind. Nope.

“I’m going to say something weird.”

“Hit me.”  
  
"...I can sleep with you if you want."  
  
Daniel nearly drops his glass, choking on air. He turns to stare incredulously at Jisung, awaiting some sort of follow-up explanation from the man.  
  
"Told you...I'm just offering. Might take your mind off the kid," Jisung continues as nonchalantly as one could in this situation.  
  
Millions of thoughts flood Daniel's mind—reasonings, excuses, explanations, consequences. None of them made any sense in the end, meshing into each other like some sort of alcoholic pudding.  
  
"Is that a yes or a no?" Jisung almost laughs at how red Daniel's face had become.  
  
Daniel opens his mouth to answer, but decides instead to shrug.  
  
"Your room or mine?"

* * *

A week passes since the arrangement. Daniel couldn’t help but feel an amalgamation of lust and slowly intensifying guilt over the situation—not to say Jisung hadn't helped, quite the contrary. Daniel felt liberated, like he had freed himself of the shackles of this stupid crush—or so he tries to convince himself. If nothing, at least he wasn’t as pent up anymore. It's not perfect, but it gave him something to do with his spare time and energy (plus, Jisung was good).

  
"Get out of here before Jinwoo gets back," Jisung gives Daniel a shove, tugging down his own shirt in a rush. He knew Daniel was a cuddler, but it was getting ridiculous at this point.  
  
Daniel responds by leaning down to place a quick kiss on Jisung's lips, pulling back with that iconic stupid grin on his face. Jisung rolls his eyes and huffs—a real charmer, this one was.

"Same time tomorrow?" Daniel wriggles his eyebrows teasingly, easily dodging the smack Jisung attempts to land on his arm.  
  
"Just go already!"  
  
"Fine, fine."  
  
He watches incredulously as Daniel's thumps back off towards his room with heavy footsteps. A sigh escapes his lips as he retreats back into his room, swinging the door shut—

But not before catching sight of a figure at the opposite end of the hallway, running off around the corner.  
  
"Hm?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daniel is a grade A mess... 
> 
> i hope people grow to love squad B as much as i do! i could honestly go on about their dynamics forever but this story isn't about them so :( but...trust me, their introductions now will help a LOT in the future.
> 
> please imagine daniel as that blinking white guy gif.
> 
> p.s. as before, my twitter is **@sailorjihoons** if you want to come chat and stuff!


	3. first love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have concluded that i can't write dialogue. it's a hard life...
> 
> a big shoutout to reck for helping me edit this chapter, i owe you my life.

“So...you like him back?”  
  
The hum of chatter fills the room, eating utensils clacking against plastic trays. Jihoon aggressively jabs his fork into a piece of potato, leaving it in for added effect before bringing it up to his mouth. He gives Daehwi a glare as he bites down and starts chewing, making it clear that he wasn't going to answer the question.  
  
Daehwi rolls his eyes at Jihoon's stubbornness, letting out a groan of frustration. Jihoon had never been an easy nut to crack. Their first meeting had been one of the most awkward situations in the new recruit's life. Jihoon was a bit of an ice prince, always distant and seemingly indifferent to company or friendship. Sure, he gave off the pretense of kindness and politeness, but he never stayed for long. He always made up some excuse to retreat back into either his room or the workshop. Daehwi assumed he was just a workaholic at first, but it didn't quite seem that way after awhile. He started noticing Jihoon staring longingly at couples or friend groups around when no one was looking, his expression unreadable. It was then Daehwi steeled his resolve to shove his way into Jihoon's life by any means necessary—and it worked.  
  
"Can't you even tell your best friend?" Daehwi coos, cranking the puppy eyes up to max. He is only met with a look of utter disgust and horror.

“Drop it, Daehwi,” Jihoon grumbles, setting down his fork. Daehwi was a good kid, really, but meddling was like a second nature to him, and for someone as secretive as Jihoon—it was agony. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

Daehwi frowns, propping his chin up on his hands. “Are you sure? Or is this one of your ‘I kind of want to say it but I’m going to play coy so it looks like I’m being forced to say it’ moments?”

“Daehwi.”

“Jihoon.”

The older boy tosses a stray napkin at the younger, once again proving how ineffective paper was at moving anywhere. He watches it flutter uselessly down onto the floor, wondering if he’d get scolded for littering later on.

If he was to be honest, the last few repair sessions with Daniel have been awkward. Everytime he tried initiating conversation, Jihoon reflexively shut him down however innocent the topic. He doesn’t want to act this way, but everytime he hears Daniel’s voice, he ends up thinking about that night where he whispered so very gently and deep in his ear. He blushes easily, he learns. He tries so hard to focus solely on his work, not to look Daniel in the face, but he couldn't resist. He finds himself stealing glances from time to time, heart clenching at the downtrodden look on the other’s face after being shut down again and again. He really resembles a puppy—another thing jihoon learns...why was he noticing all these things now? Sure, he feels bad for acting so coldly, but it made sense, right? Daniel had kissed him out of nowhere, he had all the right to freak out— wait...did that count as a confession? Should he have given a reply? But the way he reacted definitely came off as a rejection, right? Daniel should’ve understood—he’s dumb, but not that dumb. He just needs to get over his silly crush and they can go back to being friends. He just needs time...yeah.

“Jihoon…what I’m getting from this is that you’re being stubborn for some reason, right?” Daehwi asks, but shoves a finger to Jihoon’s lips when the other tries to respond. “Nope, lemme finish.” Jihoon scowls. “Look, I know what you’re going through and stuff but you really have to let go at some point. You can’t keep holding onto the past.”

Daehwi swears he feels the temperature drop a few degrees as he watches the look on Jihoon’s face change. There was no semblance of playful banter anymore, his lips pursed and eyes cold. Daehwi panics and opens his mouth to apologise but Jihoon interrupts him.

“Watch me.”

* * *

 " _Jinyoung…” Jihoon starts off. “You know how dangerous it is out there—you don’t have to go.”_

_Jinyoung only smiles, shifting closer to him, lacing their fingers together. He tilts his head, eyes blinking, filled with affection, focused only on the person in front of him._

_Jihoon sighs, feeling defeated already. Jinyoung always gave him that look when he wanted things to go his way. Jihoon turns from him to the sky above, dark and clouded. It has been awhile since the stars were visible—the dust and smoke of the battlefield never seems to settle. It was a cold night, they had strayed away from the fire in search for privacy—Jihoon insisting on telling him something._

_“Please…” he almost begs, gripping on tightly._

_“Orders are orders,” Jinyoung answers solemnly. “I joined XCOM for a reason.” He wishes he didn’t have to see Jihoon’s bottom lip tremble like that._

_They often talked about how life would be if it wasn’t for the war. Maybe they could’ve gone on dates, had sleepovers at each other’s houses—silly little things like that. Perhaps they could’ve gone to school together, perhaps Jinyoung wouldn’t have to leave for the skies._

_“We could just run away! Hide out in a settlement nearby and live like normal people—”_

_Jinyoung shushes him, leaning his forehead against Jihoon’s shoulder. He didn’t have the strength to think about thoughts like that. He’s scared, he wants to stay with Jihoon forever—but that was impossible in such a time._

_“I’m doing this to protect everyone...to protect you.”_

_“I don’t need to be protected. I...I just want you beside me,” Jihoon whimpers, desperation written across his features. He has never asked to be protected, never once asked for all his loved ones to throw their lives away for him. Why was he always the one being protected? Why couldn’t he protect someone for once? Why did no one understand he needed them by his side?_

_He feels Jinyoung’s frame tremble—he was scared as he was. Jihoon moves to wrap his arms around him, but he’s stopped by a yell from back by the fire. They’re calling for him._

_“Jinyoung…”_

_“I’ll come back, Jihoon.”_

_That’s what they all say,_

_but they never do._

* * *

 “Dammit, Daehwi,” Jihoon grits his teeth, trudging out of the room after having dumped his tray into the trash can. Talk about kicking someone while they're down—did he really have to bring his past up? He reveals some stories about his past during a moment of emotional weakness and this is how he gets treated? That’ll teach him to think twice before opening up to people again.

His heart clenches as his mind flashes back to memories of his family—various loved ones all now scattered across the soil. He never wanted them to leave this way, but what say did he have in matters like these? It was all up to politics, their measly lives used in gambles that they didn’t even understand. It was frustrating...losing loved ones one by one, unable to do anything but watch on helplessly. He thinks over and over, what if his friends suffered the same fate? Woojin, Daehwi, Daniel— No...he can’t bear that pain ever again.

Jihoon turns the corner of the hallway, almost to his room when he hears voices. Normally, he wouldn’t have given two shits, but these sounded awfully familiar. He peeks around the bend, hidden by the shadows. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything like that, he simply wanted to enjoy the shade of this pillar.

But he sees them kiss.

He swears his heart leaps up into his throat, pulse racing as he pulls himself away from the sight. What the hell? Daniel’s already moved on? How dare he— wait. Why does he care? He should be glad Daniel got over him. It’s none of his business who he hooks up with...who he kisses...whose room he walks out off…

None of his business at all.

* * *

 A quiet night, Jihoon notices. It seems Daniel finally learned that attempting to strike up a conversation would only end in an awkward silence—that was fair enough. Jihoon should’ve been happy that he didn’t have to shut Daniel down anymore...but why did he feel this dull ache in his chest? His eyes flit over to Daniel, watching him as he tapped away on his laptop, a blue glow on his face. He was squinting at the screen—Jihoon almost tells him to go get some glasses already—but stops himself. A small chuckle escapes from the man, his eyes crinkling up as he tries to stifle his laughter. What an idiot.

“I saw you and Jisung the other day.” Wait— no...that wasn’t what he wanted to— oh my god.

He watches in mild panic as Daniel chokes on his snack, giving him a moment before continuing, going against the sane voice in his brain.

“Hope you had fun.” No— what the fuck is  _that_  even supposed to mean? He has to clutch at the edge of his chair to stop himself from giving himself a big, well-deserved smack in the jaw.

“I— It…it wasn’t anything serious! I just— it…” Daniel splutters, raising his hands in a panic before dropping them back down on his lap, clenching his fists around the blanket.

Jihoon feels a tinge of annoyance he didn’t quite understand. “I’m just saying I saw it…I’m not accusing you of anything.”

“I mean— it was just a fling and stuff...Jisung just offered because I talked about how lonely I felt and— Look, it didn’t mean anything, I just—”

“I didn’t ask.”

Silence quickly settles upon them, only the quiet humming of Jihoon’s fan was left. Jihoon relaxes his hands and pretends to continue his tinkering, but anyone could plainly see he was only screwing and unscrewing the same part. The pause feels almost suffocating, but Jihoon didn’t have the right to say anything—he didn’t even know why he brought the topic up in the first place. He already told himself it was none of his business—why does he care? Why would be care? And not to mention he got mad at Daniel for trying to explain the situation even though he obviously asked for him to...can he do anything right?

Daniel shuts his laptop after some contemplation, setting it to the side. He seems to want to say something, but it was obvious he was more focused on gathering enough courage to actually say it at all.

“I like you a lot, you know.”

Jihoon’s hand slips off the tool, his body tensing up. “Don’t say that.” He refuses to look up, staring holes into his desk.

“I mean it.”

He slams his hands down, standing up so abruptly his chair falls over with a loud crash. His heart was simultaneously pounding like a jackhammer and being jabbed by a thousand needles at once. He hates this feeling—it hurts so bad.

He makes a break for the door, just wanting to get as far as he could from Daniel, but Daniel grabs his hand, stopping him in his tracks. They look at each other, both pairs of eyes filled with emotion. Daniel’s—guilt, worry, hope. Jihoon’s—anger, sadness, heartbreak.

“Let go of me.”

Daniel shakes his head almost desperately. “We haven’t finished talking.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I...don’t like you.”

Daniel almost breaks right then. The glimmer of hope he had gained from seeing Jihoon jealous was destroyed in mere moments.

“I-I can change your mind.”

“No you can’t. Let go.” Jihoon moves to yank his hand away, but is caught off-guard as Daniel pulls him in for a hug. He struggles a bit at first, but the overwhelming warmth and safety of Daniel’s embrace was lulling. How many days and nights had he spent cold? Alone? Jihoon feels himself melting, eyes closing as his arms weakly move up to wrap around Daniel—

But then he remembers.

He remembers his parents, bodies leaning against each other, propped up with debris. He remembers his little sister, body riddled with holes, gasping his name softly. He remembers his first love, lifeless eyes staring up at him, covered in a sheet and carried away in a bag. He remembers them all, and he shoves Daniel back.

He can’t do this—he can’t bear the thought of losing someone he loves again.

He sees Daniel’s face fall, watches as he understands Jihoon’s actions. He tries to catch his breath as Daniel gently pushes past. He hears as he shuts the door behind him. His heart hurt so bad, his eyes tearing up—why did things have to turn out this way?

He collapses on his bed and buries his face into the covers, trying so hard to ignore how much it smelled like Daniel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally things happen! exposition that isn't a bunch of game jargon! yes!
> 
> i might not be able to keep up this average word count for chapters :( been feeling kind of off about the whole story but i'll still try my best!
> 
> p.s. as before, my twitter is **@sailorjihoons** if you want to come chat and stuff!


	4. his family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a bit rushed so i apologize for the possible drop in quality but! i had so many things i wanted to add so it's slightly longer than usual!
> 
> shoutout to the discord group for laughing at my horrible phrasing and helping me reword sentences. i'll fight you all.

“I don’t know what happened between you two, but get your shit together,” Sungwoon growls, giving Daniel a not-so-gentle pat on the back. “You’re one of our best soldiers—you can’t just ‘not feel it’.”

Jihoon has been getting Sungwoon to do repairs for him, to Daniel’s dismay. Although he supposes the time apart would let things settle down a bit, he couldn’t help but wonder if Jihoon was going to avoid him forever. The thought depressed him, but as much as he wanted to mope around all day—he had work to do.

“You’re right...wait, oh my god, I can’t believe I messed up so badly!”

Sungwoon leans back on his chair and lets out a cry of annoyance. “Get over it already, he’s just a brat.”

“Shut up...I don’t even know why I like him this much.”

Really, it didn’t make any sense. They never had anything between them, only ever meeting during repairs and the off-chance they bump into each other onboard. Jihoon hadn’t opened up easily and Daniel respected that—then when did it all start? Was it that one night they spent in the training room, testing some modifications out? Jihoon had offered to be his sparring partner—to his surprise. Back then, he didn’t know Jihoon could fight, but he turned out to be proficient in a surprising amount of techniques—Daniel was intrigued. He wanted to figure Jihoon out, learn more about him. They had spent so much time together but Daniel didn’t know the slightest about him. Why was he so solemn with his angel-like face? Stern looks didn’t do his features justice at all. He soon found out how breathtaking Jihoon’s smiles were and made it a goal to make him laugh more often.

God...he never realised how hard he had fallen.

“You’re a fucking dumbass.”

“I know."

* * *

 

A week passes by ad nauseam. Daniel barely catches glimpses of Jihoon when they pass by each other in the recreational room. He swears he sees Seongwoo throw inquisitive stares his way, but chooses to brush it off as coincidence. He should really stop looking over at Jihoon so much—this was no way to get rid of a crush.

“You look like a sad puppy,” Eunwoo pipes up, eyes blinking wide and curious. “Even more so than usual.”

“He’s just sick, Nunu,” Seongwoo uses her nickname affectionately. “L-o-v-e sick, that is.”

“Ooo...our cute little Daniel? In love?” Eunwoo gasps dramatically. “Which absolute casanova stole his heart?”

“Only the cute engineer from sector C! That’s right! The one who you nearly skulljacked—”

“Shhshshhh! People don’t need to know about that,” Eunwoo’s voice suddenly drops into a panicked whisper, glancing around at their superiors. Thankfully, most of them were too wasted to pay them any attention.

“Both of you shut up,” Daniel groans, squinting in indignation. “Actually, wait...how did you even figure out who—”

“How could I have not figured out by now? You stare holes into him everytime he passes by—it’s so obvious it actually hurts,” Seongwoo snorts, rolling his eyes.

“...Am I really that obvious?”

He nods, turning to Eunwoo who in turn nods as well. Daniel can’t help but admire their synergy—only in teasing him they were united.

“Shit…”

“You’re sooo screwed~” Eunwoo sings, but then takes on an official tone. “Diagnosis: Idiot In Love. Symptoms: longing stares, lots of whining, mild alcoholism, and just generally being a little bitc—”

“Eunwoo!”

“Okay, okay.”

“She’s right though,” Seongwoo pipes up, resting his chin on his hand. “You haven’t been yourself recently...you know you can talk to us about this, right?”

“I know…” Daniel pouts, gaze lowered. “I would if I even understood anything that was going on. I thought I’ve crushed on people before but this is something completely different—it just hurts a lot and sucks ass.”

“You know what else sucks—” Eunwoo starts cautiously, cheeky grin on her lips, but cuts herself off once she sees the death glare thrown her way. “Geez...I don’t know what exactly you did to warrant this kind of behaviour from him, but maybe you guys could just...talk it out?”

“I can’t...he’s avoiding me,” Daniel admits with a sigh. “I thought I definitely saw jealousy in him but...why would he be jealous if he doesn’t like me?”

“Maybe it’s more complicated than that,” Seongwoo offers. “It’s not always a matter of attraction.”

Daniel grumbles in return, resting his head against the cold of the table. He feels stupid for getting hung up over something so childish—he’s a warrior, for fuck’s sake. He wasn’t acting like himself and that kind of mindset could get him killed. His friends are being too lenient with him...though he supposes everyone else feels this way from time to time. He remembers when him and Seongwoo were just rookies. They had long conversations about their family and friends back on the ground, past crushes, childhood friends—the like. They really spilled their hearts out back then—a contributing factor to how close they are now.

Daniel steals a glance over at said man and a small smile creeps onto his lips. He really was lucky to have such an amazing friend—oops, caught him looking.

“You...okay?” Seongwoo blinks in confusion, lowering his head to Daniel’s level, staring inquisitively into his eyes. “Don’t smile at me like that out of nowhere. It’s creepy.”

Daniel lets out a snort, burying his face back into his arms. Through the darkness, he hears the chair next to him pull out, followed by a mellow voice.

“Is he still being a big baby about his crush?” he hears Nayoung muse, a hint of worry mixed in with amusement. He considers raising his head to refute the insult, but stays in place as a hand gently ruffles through his hair. A flush of warmth washes over him as he holds back a grin. It was stupid how happy his friends made him feel. Perhaps he really could get over Jihoon with their help...he’ll be fine with them around—

His family.

He picks himself up to whine about being called a baby—uncalled for, really. Eunwoo makes a formal speech bequeathing her ‘squad baby’ title over him to, only to be met with one of his signature laughs. Seongwoo makes a comment about dragging Daniel to the infirmary to get his head checked out, but Nayoung shushes him with a soft smile, shaking her head.

Their conversation continues on into the night. Closing time arises and the bartender kicks them out, each returning to their respective rooms. Daniel bids Seongwoo a giggly goodnight as he sinks into his pillow, promptly passing out.

* * *

 

“Squad B and D, report to the bridge—the Commander wants to see you.”

Daniel snaps awake at the announcement, the buzz and whine of the speakers filling his ears. What in the world could this be for? Maybe an unexpected raid on a resistance camp? Regardless, he pushes himself off his bed and dresses himself appropriately—his uniform hanging on the wall.

The quiet hum of the engine accompanies him to the command centre—they were moving somewhere, and fast. He spots several engineers scampering around the power relay, yelling orders at each other—Daniel wonders what could have them this on-edge. The tension in the air has him picking up his pace, hands now tensed up in concern.

“There he is—I expected you to be on time, Kang,” the Commander’s voice greets Daniel as he enters the Bridge. His tone was reprimanding, stern—the man didn’t take lightly to tardiness.

“My apologies,” Daniel lowers his head, taking his spot next to Seongwoo...who seemed oddly on edge. He gives a small wave to the other squad across from the table. They had worked together before, but he notices that only two were present. Were they resting in the infirmary?

He shoots an inquisitive frown at one of them—squad D’s Reaper, Minkyung. She was good friends with Nayoung—they shared similar approaches towards combat, often planning strategies together. She possesses unrivalled stealth, making her an excellent scout as well as prankster. One too many times has Daniel gotten startled by her sudden appearances. Contrasting her playfulness, her experience from hunting down the Chosen only made her all the more reliable. She took her faction’s mission seriously.

Then the other, a ranger named Minhyun. he was Eunwoo’s adoptive brother—Daniel hears they had grown up in the same orphanage back on the ground. He served as their all-rounder, skilled at close to medium-ranged combat. His proficiency with a blade allows him to finish off enemies swiftly, his shotgun working as his firearm of choice. He comes off as a bit of a cold guy at first, but Daniel has been witness to his kindness and patience, especially with Eunwoo. He was the epitome of a protective older brother, constantly worrying over her, scolding her for not taking care of herself. He’s basically the only reason she survived long enough to join XCOM—there was just no way she could’ve gotten this far on her own.

“Anyways, as I was saying—” the Commander clears his throat. Daniel raises his head in attention. “The Templar faction have located the final Chosens’ stronghold.” Daniel’s expression stiffens. “Indeed, it is finally time. We’re merging both your squads to infiltrate and destroy the Chosen from within their base of operations. This’ll give us a major advantage over those blasted ADVENT—it might even be the deciding factor.”

Silence blankets the room, hundreds of thoughts running through everyone’s mind. Just the name ‘Chosen’ struck fear into their hearts. They were powerful, cruel warriors of ADVENT, elite soldiers fighting to snuff the light of the resistance out. It didn’t take much for one to wipe out an entire squad, as it has been proven before. They specifically target XCOM units, interrogating them for the location of the Commander, knowing that if they defeat the beacon of hope, the resistance would come crumbling down soon after. They were swift and efficient, playing with the very laws of physics—they were terrifying.

The Commander gives the soldiers time to process the information before continuing.

“That being said...the chances of all of you surviving is close to zero. It’s a dangerous mission—the Chosen are dangerous, as I’m sure you all are aware.” The Commander lets out a sigh, shaking his head. “This is for the sake of humanity—I believe you all knew this would happen at some point when you were recruited. Prepare yourselves for the imminent—I can’t have any of you changing your minds halfway through the mission. You will set out at fourteen-hundred hours tomorrow. Good luck.”

The Commander gives them a firm nod and exits the room, presumably to address the other sectors. Daniel stares blankly at the holographic globe in front of him, eyes following the glowing red marker on it as it slowly spins around.

“It...it’s finally time, huh?” Eunwoo laughs, the tremble in her voice giving away her anxiety. “At least we’re going in together.”

“Yeah…” Minhyun mumbles, knuckles white, clenched around the edge of the table. “We’re going to finally finish off the last Chosen…I can’t believe it.”

“Remember when we first encountered one? It wiped out two other squads just like that—we thought it was unbeatable,” Seongwoo muses, lips pursed. “Really scared the shit out of me back then.”

“Still scares the shit out of me,” Eunwoo groans. “I was just talking to Minkyung about it yesterday too—what are the chances?”

“I don’t know, but I’m pumped! I can finally finish off that godforsakened bitch…” Minkyung trails off, her excitement showing through her smile. “I’ve been waiting for this for too long.”

Nayoung frowns, letting out a sigh of worry as she turns to address the Reaper. “Calm down...we won’t be able to achieve anything if we get in over our heads—we don’t want a repeat of your last mission.”

Minkyung’s smile drops into a grimace, clasping her hands together almost painfully. “You...you’re right…” she glances up at Nayoung. “But that just means we have to fight even harder for them—for those that’ve fallen.”

Nayoung nods, her gaze composed. “We have to fight for the sake of the world. Finishing off the Chosen will hinder ADVENT in ways we can’t even begin to imagine. This is what we’re all here for, right?”

As if unified, the other five nod in return, steeling their nerves. They were soldiers, and this was their purpose. Everyone understood the risks of heading out to battle. Every day they spend in XCOM was another day they put their lives on the line for the sake of humanity. If there was any cause to sacrifice themselves for, it was this mission.

“Y-Yeah,” Daniel gulps, unable to hide the tremble in his voice. He sees Seongwoo raise an eyebrow, but other than that, it didn’t seem like anyone else noticed. He mouths an ‘it’s okay’ in his direction, but it wasn’t much help. His nerves were understandable, but why in front of everyone else? He didn’t even feel this anxious during his first mission.

“Hey, Daniel? We need you here with us—we’re going over the plan.”

“Huh? Oh...yeah, sorry.”

His hands are shaking.

Daniel moves to join the others as they went over the game plan, but his mind was wandering. This was it, huh. The big break—the mission that’ll finally propel him to ‘hero’ status...feels less exciting now that he knew the consequences. He doesn’t understand why he’s so nervous—he risks his life out there almost mission, doesn’t he? Maybe it’s because this was finally the real deal—if he fails, he’s going to end up endangering so many lives.

“Keep it together, Daniel. We’re with you,” he hears Nayoung’s voice. He nods instinctively, still soullessly staring into the projection.

“I believe in us.”

* * *

 

_“We have finalized your squad assignments,” the stuffy man in a suit clears his throat. “Im Nayoung, Jung Eunwoo, Kang Daniel, Hong Seongwoo—”_

_“It’s Ong.”_

_The man coughs again._

_“...Ong Seongwoo—”_

_“Thank you.”_

_“—You will now be known as Squad B. Lieutenant Im will serve as your leader. That is all.”_

_As the door closes behind him, a burst of laughter pierces Daniel’s eardrums._

_“Eunwoo!” he grins, loosening up his ‘official’ stance. “Keep it down.”_

_“I can’t— Did you see the look on Seongwoo’s face?” Eunwoo breathlessly points at said man who fakes an offended gasp._

_“Not my fault no one can get my name right!”_

_“Right, right. My apologies, Mr. Ong Seongwoon.”_

_“Ong Seongwoo.”_

_“Gong Seongwoo”_

_“Eunwoo, I will hack into your computer.”_

_The girl stares in wide-eyed horror at Seongwoo who sticks his tongue out at her. Daniel chuckles and turns to Nayoung, pitying her from the way she was rubbing her temples._

_“I guess we’re in this together for real now, huh?” he beams._

_“I suppose so...I guess I should see them matching me with you three troublemakers as some sort of accolade but…”_

_Seongwoo nearly knocks over a mug but Eunwoo catches it in time just for the contents within to spill all over her. Nayoung lets out a pained groan._

_“It’ll be fine. I trust all of you already,” Daniel nods, tossing the duo a towel from within his bag._

_“...It’ll be lively, if anything,” Nayoung acknowledges, a small smile on her lips—_

_“I’m looking forward to working with you all.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boom. shit's getting real.
> 
> this chapter is really important so please keep the details in mind! i still love squad B so much and i hope this chapter convinced some of you to feel the same way~
> 
> p.s. as before, my twitter is **@sailorjihoons** if you want to come chat and stuff!


	5. three seconds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is probably a huge mess and super late because i stayed up and watched the overwatch world cup for like...9 hours straight and now my eyes burn.
> 
> also this chapter was completely self edited this time so rip bad wording. i apologize again ;;

Jihoon’s breathing is heavy, panicky. He swallows nervously, willing his anxiety away. News of the mission had just reached his sector...that blasted Commander. He had ordered them to speed up construction of their latest line of armours and weapons for the fight. Prototypes painstakingly forged by the research team, materials and parts salvaged from alien corpses. Jihoon didn’t like to admit how much ADVENT technology has helped them progress. It felt wrong—dirty, almost—to be utilizing the same guns that tore holes through their people...but they didn’t have much of a choice. Their technology was simply more advanced than the humans...and if they were to survive in this war, their pride must be put aside for the greater good.

He lets out a breath of annoyance as he stomps over to the next sector, too antsy to sit still while everything was being prepared. Ludicrous amounts of explosives, ammunition, and more were being made. Precautions, the Commander had said, knowing well enough that there was no way the six-man squad could even carry this much. Jihoon didn’t dwell on the thought for long—he wasn’t the one sending them to their deaths. What would he know about precautions.

Suicide mission after suicide mission—why do they never learn? The fact that they seemed excited and proud of it all was just the icing on the cake. There’s nothing glorious about death. There’s nothing to be proud of, throwing your life away, selfishly leaving behind people who love and care about you. 

And of course, the ‘brainwashed’ soldiers—Jihoon couldn’t believe them. He wasn’t particularly close with any of them, but they never seemed like the type to hate the whole idea of being alive and all. They had all seemed like pleasant people. Not exactly the type he would hang out with, but that was more on him than anything. What a waste of lives...

Then there was Daniel. 

Jihoon isn’t surprised, Daniel doing something stupid was just the status quo. He should’ve expected this from the fool—he would’ve just volunteered to fight if he hadn’t been ordered to in the first place...that was just the kind of person he was.

But what did Jihoon know about him? He wants nothing to do with the man. Their contrasting beliefs had drawn a line between them, a line Jihoon never wanted crossed. He thought he kept his distance enough, keeping their relationship strictly professional, but apparently Daniel thought otherwise. 

If only he hadn’t crossed that line...Jihoon wouldn’t be in this situation right now. He wouldn’t be so damn confused about everything. His mind had been plagued with nothing but thoughts of Daniel for the past week—he hated it. He knew exactly what was happening, but he didn’t want it to be true. He’s gone through enough...it just wasn’t worth it.

Jihoon slides open the door to the research sector, eyes scanning for Daehwi. He needed someone to talk to, someone to take his mind off the anxiety. A quick look told him the scientists were just as rushed as the engineers—except with significantly messier uniforms. He forces back a gag as he spots an ADVENT officer strapped to the dissection table...or at least he thinks that’s what it is. It’s hard to tell with all that...yellow-green stuff everywhere.

He finally finds Daehwi hunched over his laptop in the back of the room. Approaching him casually, he taps the boy on the shoulder. “Hey Daehwi, did you hear—”

The younger looked up so abruptly, Jihoon swears his neck snapped. His eyes were blinking in confusion, as if trying to figure out if the person in front of him was actually Jihoon, or he had fallen asleep and this was all just a dream. He opens his mouth to answer but, as if realising something, instead stands straight up. “What are you doing here?!”

Jihoon’s eyes widen, eyebrows raised. He looks around, searching for the cause of Daehwi’s outburst, but finds nothing. “What do you mean?”

“You shouldn’t be here right now! Not with me.”

“What the hell are you talking about—”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” 

At this point, several heads were turned their way. Jihoon flushes at the attention, but focuses on the matter. “I really don’t— hey!”

Daehwi had grabbed his hand and was now dragging him towards the exit. He’s shoved out unceremoniously, door shutting behind him. That little brat.

Jihoon huffs incredulously, crossing his arms. What was that all about? He wasn’t supposed to be here? Then where is he supposed to be? At his sector? If that was the case, that was way too much of an overreaction. 

He drifts down the hallways, lost in thought and revenge plans against the boy. The other option Daehwi might have been referring to was obvious, but part of him...all of him, refuses to acknowledge it. Of course he chooses now to be meddlesome, right when Jihoon needed his support the most. He lets out a muffled groan of annoyance. 

When he comes back to his senses, he finds himself in the all-familiar hallway of their living quarters. He wasn’t quite sure what possessed him to come this way, but he might as well get a fresh change of clothes while he was here. 

He passes by the doors, names written on replaceable nameplates hung on either side. It was silly how even something so simple left such a bitter taste in his mouth. 

Both his movements and heart come to a brief stop when finds a familiar name. It was one that short-circuited his brain, sent his heart into a frenzy—fuck...this was really it, huh? His body was just going to betray his common sense like this? He squints in distaste at the door, trying to convince his stupid heart that he didn’t need to do this—but...maybe he was overreacting? He couldn’t even be sure that Daniel was in his room right now. He could easily be training or...whatever else he does (Jihoon doesn’t exactly know)—so...a knock couldn’t hurt, right?

The door clicks open just as he takes a step towards it and he freezes in his tracks. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or terrified that it wasn’t Daniel who came out, but his roommate instead.

“Oh? Hey there?” Seongwoo greets, tilting his head curiously. He stifles a laugh at the deer-in-headlights look Jihoon had on his face. It didn’t take much to put two and two together—Seongwoo lets out an understanding ‘ahh…’ when he realises. “I’ll leave you guys to it,” he steps aside, cheeky grin on his face. He nudges Jihoon towards the room before hightailing it down the hallway.

Jihoon stares after him helplessly. Was he really that transparent? Even an acquaintance saw right through him...he feels pathetic.

He takes uncertain steps into the room, shutting the door behind him quietly. A lump of blankets lay on one of the beds, a familiar tuft of hair peeking out from underneath. Jihoon stays rooted at the entrance, unsure if Daniel(?) was even awake beneath it.

“Seongwoo? Who was that?” Daniel peeks out from under the blankets. Jihoon flinches at his sudden appearance, heart racing as he fidgets in place, waiting for the man to acknowledge his presence.

Daniel rubs at his eyes, brows furrowing—Jihoon swears he could hear the gears in his head turning. He contemplates waving, but decides that would be way too awkward. Instead, he sighs when Daniel finally sits up, now staring at him in bewilderment. 

Once again, Jihoon questions his heart’s decision.

“H...Hi?” Daniel finally manages to force out, shattering the deafening silence. His eyes were burning holes into Jihoon, inquisitive and anxious. 

“You’re a fucking dumbass.”

“Wha—”

Jihoon bites down on his lip. “You know...how dangerous it is…”

Daniel tenses up, eyes flitting away self-consciously.

“But you’re still going,” Jihoon continues.

“Yeah.”

This wasn’t going to work. Jihoon’s patience just didn’t exist. He clenches his fist, exhaling loudly in an attempt to control his anger. Why was he even having this conversation? He of all people should know how stubborn Daniel is. Pushover or not, he’s annoyingly persistent when it came down to his beliefs.

This was ridiculous. 

“It’s dangerous,” Jihoon repeats, tone stiffer than before. He doesn’t even know what he wants from this—did he want Daniel to stay? To go? To talk him out of this suicide mission? There’s no way he was going to achieve anything like this. Why does he even care so much— no...that isn’t fair. He knows exactly why and he hates it.

“Every mission is dangerous…” Daniel mumbles, lips pursed. 

“Wh—Why aren’t you more scared?!” Jihoon finally snaps, the frustration taking over his self-restraint. “Why do you sound so ready to die?!”

Daniel gets up in a panic, blanket falling to the ground. He feels guilty, scolded...but at the same time—what did Jihoon want him to say?

“This is why you’re all idiots—why do none of you ever consider the people who’ll miss you?!”

Daniel doesn’t reply, instead staring at Jihoon. He looked so small, so hurt—what was he supposed to think of all this? He had convinced himself that Jihoon didn’t want him in his life anymore. His mind had been made up, his feelings settled...at least, until Jihoon came barging back in with his star-filled eyes. 

He’s so unfair.

“Say something!” Jihoon cries in frustration, hating how his throat tightened up so painfully. He tries to will his tears back, not wanting to look like even more of a pitiful mess. 

“I’m sorry,” is all Daniel manages to say—tone weighty, but adamant.

Jihoon opens his mouth to retort, but nothing comes out. Why was he acting like such a child? He promised himself he wouldn’t let his emotions control him anymore, ever since Jinyoung left...so, why now? Why Daniel? Why this idiot with the biggest heart, the sweetest words, and a smile that lit up the room? Jihoon hated him so much. He hated how kind he was, how he stared at him like he was his world, how he ruffled his hair with those stupidly big hands of his. He hated himself for falling for it all. 

He hardly notices Daniel moving towards him, now an arms-length away as he stares holes into the ground. He wipes away his tears as he looks up, clinging to what was left of his pride.

“Jihoon…” Daniel starts, eyes trailing over his features in concern. He pauses for a moment to find the right words—but then suddenly frowns in realisation. “Wait— you said...you’ll miss me?”

Jihoon stiffens, suddenly aware of what he had admitted in the heat of the moment...but what did his ego matter anymore. “Of course I will.” His face heats up.

Daniel breaks eye contact, heart racing at the confession. Was he misunderstanding again? That can’t be, right? Everything clicked together too well to be just a misunderstanding. 

“Hey...if I’m not getting the wrong idea…” he trails off, hoping Jihoon would understand him even with what minimal context he had provided. “Could you…please just say it…” he adds when Jihoon frowns at him in confusion. 

“S-Say what?” Jihoon’s voice was trembling, mind trying to grasp at what little clues Daniel had given him. A voice in the back of his head tells him he has already figured out, but he chooses to ignore it for the sake of his heart.

Daniel lets out a small sigh, looking back up at Jihoon. “I need to know before I go...please,” he begs.

Jihoon was taken aback by the sincerity in Daniel's voice—he’s never heard him sound like this before. His heart ached seeing him this fragile, his big frame sagging. He had no right looking this sad...Jihoon had no right making him this sad. The universe had no right arranging this cruel sequence of events to make the very personification of sunshine this sad. 

Perhaps this was his chance to finally save someone he loved...have them come back before it was too late...

Then an idea comes to mind. It sounds so ridiculous in his head, but if it worked… 

“I’ll tell you when you come back.”

“Huh? What—”

“I’ll give you an answer if—” he stops himself momentarily, “—when you come back safe,” he changes halfway, a determined look on his face.

“But I—”

“Don’t tell me you’ve just accepted dying?”

“...I haven’t.”

“Exactly. So I’ll answer you when you get back.”

Daniel stares at Jihoon incredulously, bemused, almost. The fact that he had just been crying his eyes out, but was now looking at him with a sense of conviction and determination, simply affirmed his ever growing love for the boy. A relieved laugh leaves his lips, finally rid of the tension he hated so much—this was the guy he fell for.

“This isn’t funny!” Jihoon huffs. He wanted to be taken seriously, but part of him was relieved to see Daniel laughing again. Worry just didn’t do him justice.

“I know it’s not. I just—” Daniel wipes a stray tear off his cheek, smile in full force as he gazes warmly at Jihoon. “—I can’t believe how much I love you.”

Jihoon wants to clutch at his heart, tell it to be still or he’d end up collapsing. He had basically admitted his affections for Daniel already, but for the sake of his integrity, he had to stand his ground. 

“How can you just say you love people so easily? We’ve barely even really talked and I’ve done nothing to lead you on…”

“I don’t really know, it’s just something I feel,” Daniel responds, shrugging nonchalantly.

“That makes no sense.”

“Does it have to?”

“Of course it does!”

Daniel chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He was glad they were at least talking again—he had missed Jihoon’s company.

After a quiet moment and some fidgeting around, Jihoon pipes up. “I should really go help the others. They’ll need everyone they can get.”

Daniel nods, a thought of affection passing through his mind. Jihoon’s work ethic was admirable...but there was one thing.

“Before you go...can I at least hug you?” he asks tentatively.

Jihoon hums in displeasure, squinting suspiciously.

“...Three seconds?”

“...Fine,” he caves in, his heart convincing his brain that maybe Daniel needed some more encouragement to make it back alive. 

Those three seconds feel simultaneously too short, and like an eternity. Daniel takes in all of Jihoon—his softness, his scent, his warmth, his breaths...how well he fits in his arms. 

Jihoon pulls away after losing count, face flushed and embarrassed that it had definitely lasted longer than three seconds.

He moves back towards the door, thinking of what to say, but at the same time trying to resist the urge to run straight back into Daniel’s arms. What dangerous traps his hugs were. 

“You better keep your promise,” he jabs at Daniel as he exits the room, brows furrowed in an attempt to look less like a silly, lovestruck boy.

Daniel, with eyes locked onto the retreating figure of his first and only crush, replies:

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is going to be a journey to do whew...i can't believe we're almost to the end! 
> 
> i hope everything is living up to your expectations and stuff because i've been struggling with the ending a lot;; oh well (´；ω；`)
> 
> p.s. as before, my twitter is **@sailorjihoons** if you want to come chat and stuff!


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